The Yankees, The Man Purse and “That Guy”

Yankee Stadium

When people think of America, certain ideas come to mind; apple pie, the American flag and, of course, Baseball on an awesome spring day. A few of us went to Yankees stadium for the Yankees vs. Red Sox game on Thursday, April 17. Yes, the Yanks lost and they are morons for keeping Moose in for the whole game BUT this is not what the post is about. No no my friends, this post is about how ridiculous going to a simple baseball game has become.

I left from my office in lower Manhattan a little early on Thursday so I could make sure to catch the opening of the game. I don't go to a lot of games each season but when I do, I want to be there for the whole thing. With my messenger bag over my shoulder, I left my office, ready for a long weekend. We get to the stadium and wait on the ridiculously long line for security. Finally, it's my turn to get "wanded" and before the surly looking man even begins, he brushes me off to go talk to the man in the yellow coat. I go to talk to the guy and before I even utter a word, he begins "No bags allowed in the stadium." This is being said as a bunch of women all walk in with bags and the man behind me on the line is holding a bag full of what appears to be groceries. I simply asked why I couldn't bring in my messenger bag when other people were allowed to bring in bags. "No backpacks, no bags, your bag is too large, go bring it back to your car" he responds. Normally, I am fairly calm and even-headed so I figured logic was the next step. I told him that I didn't drive in and that I came directly from my office AND my bag was smaller than the bags that those women were coming in with so why couldn't I bring in mine. "You have to leave the stadium, walk two blocks and go to the bowling alley. That's where you can check your bag," he says. Ok, now I'm getting mad. I don't get it. I asked him once more, "what's the difference between what I have and w“That” Guy 2hat thay are bringing in?" That's when he drops it on me. "To be honest, the New York Yankees don't want men carrying purses, the largest bag a man can bring in is a fanny pack or one of those athletic bags with the spaghetti straps." First off, what is more gay than a dude with a fanny pack, and on top of it this douche is going to insult me and then use terms like spaghetti straps. WTF! So I loose my cool, ask to talk to his boss, at which time I go over then same reasoning I did with the first jackass security guard at which time he finally lets me into the game.

Finally the game can begin. I put the security incident behind me, the only problem was that there was something else behind me ... "That Guy." I'm not talking about the crazy fan or the heckler. In this case "That Guy" is the drunk asshole who has no idea what is going on around him, he just wants to yell and get attention for himself. It started out slow and easy "All F'ing Red Soxs fans are Fgts." As the game started to take a turn for the worse, so did he. "I don't even care, I am going to become a Mets fan," which would be followed by "All F'ing Firemen are Fgts." By the end of the game this steroid pumping Jerzy boy was just uselessly screaming. No words, just screaming like he was being eating from the inside out by bugs. I was half expecting to hear a "Hulk smash!!!" coming out of him. What happened to the American idea of Baseball and going to the game to have a good time? I feel like if I had children I wouldn't want to bring them to a game if they are going to be hassled and have to listen to some guy who can't control his booze curse and scream like a crazy person at the top of his lungs. With this being the last year of the old Yankee stadium, I can only hope that things for the future generations get better and not worse, and then people will have the decency to know that at the end of the day it's only Baseball.

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